Giving Their All

Rosy's Surprising Turn
Even though Rosy’s mother was a traditional-minded Jewish woman, she couldn’t see the sense in paying tuition for Rosy to go to a Jewish school. On the other hand, she was happy to send her daughter to Jewish camp – Oorah’s GirlZone, -- where she could enjoy her summer in wholesome Jewish surroundings.
Each summer, Rosy would come home from camp inspired. She wanted to have Shabbos! She wanted to learn parsha, sing Jewish songs, eat kosher food! Rosy’s mother hoped it would all go away, and within a few weeks of coming home, it would indeed go away. Rosy would change her mind and return to public school…until a few years ago, when her inspiration stuck. She was heading into high school, and she sensed that this would be the best – and perhaps the last -- opportunity to make the change.

But Rosy’s mother was filled with doubt. Bais Yaakov would be an additional expense, when public school was completely free. Then Oorah contacted the family in the course of its regular follow-up of GirlZone campers, and offered, as it had for the past few years, to help place Rosy in a Jewish school. After receiving repeated assurances that Oorah would subsidize the tuition, the mother agreed to allow her daughter to start her high school career in a Bais Yaakov.
Now, instead of filling her weekends with the kind of pursuits that occupy most public high-school girls, Rosy spends Saturday mornings taking a long walk to visit the family that hosts her for Shabbos lunch. She is growing in Yiddishkeit, and it is her own determination and hard work that drive her forward on the path she’s chosen.

Against the Tide
When Jacob B. keeps Shabbos in his parents’ home, there is one major obstacle he must overcome. His parents are against it. They agreed to allow Oorah to send their son to yeshiva, but their goal was not religious growth. They saw yeshiva simply as a safer venue than the public school. In yeshiva, they hoped, Jacob would receive a good secular education among wholesome Jewish children.

When Jacob began practicing what he had been learning, they were alarmed. Perhaps he would begin neglecting his secular studies. Perhaps he would no longer share his parents’ dream of an advanced secular education and a high-status career as a doctor or lawyer. His parents perceived religious observance as the polar opposite of the life they wanted for their son. They were not just unsupportive; they were angry.

But Jacob persisted. In his respectful but unwavering manner, he created a Shabbos for himself in his parents’ home. He had always been a stubborn child, and now his stubbornness had a purpose. Having finished 12th grade, Jacob plans to attend yeshiva in Israel with Oorah’s continued help. From there, perhaps he’ll follow his parents’ dream and become a doctor or lawyer – but one whose first allegiance is not to a profession or the status it brings, but to Hashem and His Torah.

Whatever It Takes
While there are many stories of Oorah children who cling to Torah and mitzvos without their parents’ support, there are some heroic parents who make immense sacrifices for their children’s Torah education. Both they and their children deserve Klal Yisrael’s tefillos, for this is their only source of support to strengthen them in their mighty struggle.

One such situation is that of Barry Weiner, who began gravitating toward Torah observance several years ago, inspired by a local outreach shul. Gradually, he became convinced that he wanted to go to yeshiva. While his parents did not share his enthusiasm, they saw what Torah learning meant to their son. His enthusiasm and idealism inspired them to support his choice in any way they could.

There was one large obstacle. The closest yeshiva appropriate to Barry’s level of Jewish learning was far from the family’s home. But Barry wanted a yeshiva education and his parents wanted him to have it.

So this year, Barry’s first in yeshiva (he entered in 10th grade), his mother awoke every morning before dawn to drive him to the nearest community on the yeshiva’s bus route. The bus then took him the rest of the way to yeshiva. His total travel time one way was over two hours. That means he spent more than four hours a day in transit for the privilege of learning Torah. And his mother, her heart overflowing with the determination to help her son fulfill his desire, sacrificed her sleep each morning to drive him.

It would seem impossible for a person to sacrifice so greatly for Torah and not merit a taste of its sweetness. And indeed, Mrs. Weiner is now learning with a chavrusa, and the family is considering moving closer to their son’s yeshiva. There’s a long road ahead, but Barry and his mother are clearly not afraid of long roads.

A Confusing World
Like every little girl, Jill wants her mother’s approval. But she and her older sister, Jody, have a difficult and confusing struggle in their effort to win their mother’s love. That is because their parents are divorced, and while their father wants to raise them as religious Jews, their mother is staunchly opposed.

Of course, the secular court system did not take this factor into account when it decreed the parenting arrangements for divorcing couple. The girls split their time between the home of their father and that of their remarried mother. Although the court approved the girls’ attendance in Jewish school, their mother does all she can to derail their growing devotion to Torah.
While at their mother’s home, the youngest girl cannot withstand the pressure to eat non-kosher, to watch television on Shabbos, to forgo such “superstitions” as washing negel vasser or making a brocha on her food. Her mother’s disdain is more than she can bear, so she does what her mother wants, despite the ache in her heart.

While Jody is more able to assert herself, the situation is heart-breaking for her as well. What daughter can withstand her mother’s constant disapproval of the things she holds dear?
The father has wisely sought mentors and families who can give the girls a taste of the life they long to have for themselves one day. So far, they have been able to stay on track despite the day-in-day-out struggle for their neshamos. As one of their mentors observed, “They just want so badly to be frum.”